Wow, it's been a while... I AM SORRY MY BELOVEDS FOR I HAVE HAD MY SOUL STOLEN BY TUMBLR! I'm really sorry I will remember to update this blog further on in the future I promise! Well, nothing much has been happening... I haven't cut in two months which is amazing! <3

Wut

107 pageviews... Last time I checked I had 98 what the heeeelllllllll

DEAD

LOLOLOLOL

Edit: Wait... did that even work? O.o

I hope no one I know finds this blog

I hate you sometimes, man. I respect no one who does drugs. (Love my scribbles lol XD)

Lookin' Geewwd

I gotta new background. It's all starry and sparkly :D

How did that happen?

2 more pageviews, and I reach 100 O____O

Who am I?

I'm losing myself. Or rather, I've lost myself. Forever, I've had people telling who I have to be, and it seems that I've turned into that person. I can't be me anymore, because I don't even know who me is. I'm just another mindless clone of what society wants. Even when I'm alone like I am now, I still don't know who I am. I lie to myself to try to make myself who I'm not, if that's even possible. Like a while ago, my friend group I once had, decided to love k-pop. I told myself that I loved it too and gave up my precious love for post-hardcore just to fit in. I'd listen to it and not really like it that much, but told myself it was what I loved. Then I listened to my music again and couldn't convince myself against it. That's the only success I've had against myself and others. Music is the only part of me I know still.
This is why this blog means so much to me. It's the only place where I can share how I really feel.

Dropper

Falling.

Back!

I know... I was supposed to be back on Tuesday, and now it's Sunday, but I was far from home on tour with an orchestra weeeew. But I'm home now, so hai!

What happened to human interaction?

So I've noticed that a lot of teenagers are all fine and dandy talking to people over the internet, but when it comes to face-to-face interaction, they can't do it. (This includes me here). Isn't this a bit sad? What's happened to human interaction? I have a feeling in 50 years from now, nobody will know how to talk to another human being in real life; only over the internet. I don't want to let this happen. So here's something for all you awkward teenagers (or adults) to try. Give up Facebook, blogs and any other way to talk to people over the internet for 5 days. In that time, try to talk to as many people face-to-face as possible. Try it, you won't regret it! After the 5 days is over, if you still feel awkward and unhappy talking to people in real life, try it all again. I'll be doing this with you, so it's bye-bye blog for 5 days! I'll let you know what happened when I get back :) :3

segjhisrnhierht SUHTWRUGNWRNS OWEHTHWOGNERUGNEURGNSRIIIIIIIHBNDG

FREEZING

It's so cold in Australia right now. I'M COLD AS SHIT HOLY CRAP

D:

*Pageviews have stayed at 71 the past few days*
*Is sad* :(

Miss you allll (all 0 of you)

I'm going to Sydney next weekend (7 days from now) and I'll be gone a week. D: What will I do without you?!?

Tumblrrrrrr

Follow my Tumblr! http://ill-be-a-hermit-one-day.tumblr.com/

Boopdidoop

I feel like making a tumblr... If I make one, will any of you follow me? XD It'll probably be "I'll be a hermit one day" like this blog :3

What's going on right now

So I know I've written a few posts that probably sounded a bit depressing and I know how much of an idiot I look. But I just want to tell you what's going on right now.

I have a habit of pushing everyone who cares about me away. I don't mean to do it, I love them all, but I can't keep a friend for more than 2 years because when I start to get close to them, I freak out and end up pushing them away and out of my life. I had a friend who I loved so, so much and for about a year or so, I told her absolutely everything. Now that I've told her absolutely everything of my life, from when I used to be suicidal and cut, from about a few months ago when I was happiest in years, I can't keep her close to me. I don't know why, but she's slipping from my fingers as fast as every other friend I ever had. She's pretty much the only friend I have left and if I lose her by pushing her away just like everybody else, I have no one left. No one. And I don't want to be alone again.

Now to the matter of the boy I was so good friends with. A few months ago, he decided to come into my life and be my good friend. We'd stay up until 3am playing games together and he'd tell my it was the best fun he's had in years. Then one day he confessed a lot of stuff about his life to me. Knowing that he probably expected a confession in return, I stupidly blurted out a lot of stuff about me. And naturally, guess who doesn't talk to me anymore? Of course, just like every friend I got close to, I pushed him away from me and put up those stupid walls of defiance. I miss him so much. I miss his company dearly.

So please, if you're reading this and you care about me, help me! Give me some advice please! I know, it's so stupid putting such personal stuff on the internet, but this is my last resort. There's no one else who'll help me, so hopefully someone will come across this blog and care about me. If you're reading this and you care, I love you dearly.

<3 -Lauren

EDIT: I also feel under a lot a pressure when I make friends. I'm so incredibly shy and socially awkward that I'm constantly trying to turn myself into someone else in order to not bore the person and keep their interest because I'm scared that if myself, they'll get bored and sick of me and just leave and ditch me like everyone else.

What?

I want to say something. I want to scream something to the world. What that is, I don't know. But I think it's something along the lines of "help me".

Derp

Listen to Chiodos.

That is all.

Whyyyyyyy

Must... resist... urge... to reactivate... Facebook...

Interesting people around today

Today I saw an unbelievably tall girl with dark brown hair. Sounds nice right? WROOOONG! She had literally white dreadlock extensions in the ends of her hair, bright blue platform boots, an extra short bright pink mini skirt and a very low cut black singlet with spiderweb sleeve things. Needless to say, there were many people staring at her. Probably not in a nice way either. I think she can wear whatever she wants, in fact, I admire her for having the guts to wear all that and still hold her head high; proud of who she is.

Should your best friend hug the guy you're very, very fond of and have been fond of for 2 years? Should she try to hide it from you? The only reason I found out that she'd done that, is because he posted on her wall how it was a really nice hug. Should she do this? Or am I overreacting? Seeing that post broke my heart. Not only because she was hugging him and stuff, but because she tried to hide it from me. I couldn't help but feel incredibly hurt by it.

So that's about all that was interesting today...

Where have you all gone?

I've had no pageviews over the past few days... Am I not posting enough? I'm sorry my life is incredibly boring lol I only post when I have something to say. So I guess what I'm trying to say is where are you all? D:

-.-

I hate people so much right now it hurts. Just thought I'd tell you.

Also, I kinda wish I had a boyfriend. :/ I know, I sound like a typical teenage bitch, but I've never had one and it'd be nice to experience it. I'm probably the only 15 year old girl I know who hasn't. Y'know? Call me crazy, call me conceited, but I just want to feel that someone cares about me, and that someone thinks I'm worth something. Is that too much to ask? Probably.

Also, also, IF ONE MORE PERSON CALLS ME ANOREXIC I AM GOING TO STAB SOMEONE. I. AM. NOT. ANOREXIC! I just have a fast metabolism okay? Accept it and leave me alone.

I'm sorry, this post has turned into a bit of a rant .___.

How's things?

HELLO NON-EXISTENT READERS

Just thought I'd let you know that today was shit. Like really shit. Shit x100000000000
I hope your days were better! Perhaps everything will be fine tomorrow.

You know what cheers me up though? My lovely guinea pigs. I believe I have already introduced you to Browny, so here's Bruno!

Bruno is lovely :3 As you can see, he likes to sit on my shoulder. Only when I'm sitting down though, if I'm standing up, he'll side off the back because he's so big! XD Oh look I'm in a better mood just thinking about him :3 

So uh... If there's anyone out there, leave a comment about your day? It would be nice to know someone cares about me :D 

- Lauren

Hai Guys :3

So I deactivated facebook today. I feel much happier without it! It was almost too much to bear seeing a certain person's bullshit everywhere haha

I love you guys! Although I'm probably talking to myself (does anyone read this crap?) it's nice to know that someday, maybe, someone will come across this blog and take an interest in me :)

-Lauren

EDIT: Holy crap I wanted to tell you how much I adore PewDiePie XD Honestly, his videos make my day much better :3 CLICKIE check him out. You won't regret it!

I'm wondering... Is anyone actually reading this? XD

What's Sleep?

So it's 1am... Maybe I should go to sleep... Nah! Here's Vic Fuentes just because :3

Ohai Browny

This is my guinea pig. He is lovely :3

I should stop thinking so much

So I've been thinking, what exactly is life? We slave away, earn money to buy fleeting joy, and then die. Seriously, why are we here? Also, when we die, what is death? We die and where do we go? Will it be like we're floating or flying? Or will it just be nothingness, darkness? Is it a relief to pain? Or will it bring more?
Ugh so many questions, yet no answers.

See? This is what happens when I have nothing to do ;_;

Damn my days are boring.

What's a blog?

Someone please explain to me what you're supposed to post on here O____O